I was invited to submit my thoughts on why second marriages are better. The piece published in Huffington Post today, with tips from 10 remarried folks. My tips are featured at number 7 on the list!
Here’s what I shared:
- What’s one reason second marriages are better than first marriages?
A second marriage is an eyes-wide-open experience; you know what kinds of work are involved and say yes anyway. Plus, you endured a worst-case scenario and not just survived, but thrived! A second marriage means you’ve let go of the ’perfect spouse’ ideal, embraced your imperfections and found the unique ‘must haves’ you need in a life partner.
- Give us the rundown on your marriages: How long was your first marriage? How long have you been married this second time around? Has your current spouse been married before as well?
My first marriage lasted six years, almost to the day. I was divorced before I turned 30. I’ve been in my second marriage for five months, following a five-year courtship of what we affectionally call “fits and starts.” My groom was not married previously, but says he’s never been happier to be a second husband!
- What’s your brief advice for divorcees who are hesitant to give marriage another shot?
Remember that marriage is a choice, and if you decide to give it another go, be all in. When I put my wedding rings on each morning I consciously choose my spouse. I commit to our relationship. I acknowledge that being married means I forgive past and future transgressions, and I opt to trust. My thrice-divorced mother offers this sage advice too: “You don’t have to marry everyone you love.”
Read the rest of the article on the institute of marriage, 2.0.